Growing Pains

2005-08-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

When you've cried a lot
And your tears are finally dry
You do seem to forget
That there is no reason to cry.

When you've cried your eyes out
And despaired for every morrow
It seems so unbelievable
That there is no cause for sorrow.

It is no because you like unhappiness
Or search reasons to be sad
Its just that you have cried so much
That you have forgotten to be glad.

Forgotten what it is like
To have no worry at all
Forgotten what it is to have
Happiness standing tall.

Because there is a lot of sadness
And an undercurrent o pain
And no matter how the4y try
It cannot be set right again.

Because now you have become harsh
And wary of taking any stance
Because there is so much lost
There's no use taking a chance.

It is alright to think contentment
But very difficult to enact
A difficult proposal in the concrete
Easily explained in abstract.

Alone

2005-08-08T00:15:00.000-07:00

I am
Alone
Amidst a screaming silence
A cold stillness
That engulfs and enfolds
Wrapping tighter and tighter
Choking , cutting off the air
That my lungs crave for.
The quiet ticking of the clock
Magnifies into hammer falls
That crush any hope left
Of a better tomorrow
For I know that
The days shall pass
In a general lassitude
A lazy languor
each like yesterday
No tomorrow that is different
I have come to dread
The heartless monotony
Of time.

I am
Alone
Amidst my broken dreams
Shards of bright hopes
that pierce my heart
As I pick my way though
Stabbing and gashing
Till drops of hop
Bleed away slowly
The laughter of people
Mocks and torments
For they are free souls
Whilst i meander in a maze
Blundering my way through
Pushing and scrabbling
At the sharp thorns
Feeling the pain
But unable to cry
Out loud for at
All costs I must keep up
The face of one who is proud.

I am
Alone
Amidst hordes of people
For my heart does not
Find them like me
I belong to a different
Place, a separate Time
Or maybe its only my delusion.
The time I spend big happy
Gives way to a dread
Fro the time which I must be sad
Why must I sacrifice
My present joy in
The anticipation
Of the sadness
That tomorrow shall bring
Why must I covet
That which no one has?
And keep on oscillating
Between the extremes
Of the exuberance and depression
Of being alive?

Life

2005-08-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

It is so meaningless
To sit and contemplate
For time runs ever ahead
And Life does not wait.
Life does not pause
And why should it do so?
It was always meant to move
And ever onward go.
Life cares little whether
The world's friendly or a stone
And midst the joy and sorrow
Bought by it- you are all alone.
Life is there to be lived
Whether it be ill or well
is for the liver o decide
Not for life to tell.
Life cars little for the liver
And mocks when you moan.
But carries on when you are happy
O on jagged rocks thrown.
Life is not to be Master
But the adversary whom you fight
For once you let life rule you
Nothing will turn out right.
Life is to be a challenge
Whether sad or full of glee
And don’t wait for a tomorrow
For that is not to be.

Star Dreams- a fantasy

2005-08-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

A life time is too short
For exploring the skies
Seeing he wonders of infinity
With my own two eyes
To visit the many plants
The asteroids to race
To explore the dark blackness
Of unending boundless space.
To roam unfettered by
Constraints of gravity and fall
To go out there far away
Never to come back at all
TO live, then die happy
When alas I must
And have my remains there
Scattered- real star dust!
But a lifetime is too short
Too small, too tiny a span
Even to roam Mother earth
The birthplace of Man

Unhappy Happiness

2005-08-07T23:39:00.000-07:00

Life can be happy
Only when it is sad
For when you know sorrow
Can you be really glad.
It is only comparison
That brings greater joy
Without being measured by sorrow
Gladness is but a rich toy
Joy is a gaudy bauble
Missed only when its no more
Remembered and fondly cherished
Though tossed away before.
As sunshines are brighter
When they are after rain
So happiness is happier
If it follows pain.

Oh Time

2005-08-07T23:25:00.001-07:00

Why must I be governed
Of Time by thy will
Turn thou backward
If not, at least be still
Why must thou slip
Away from my grasp
Move slower please
That is all I ask.
SO much I want to do
But thou dost not permit
Thou runnest away so fast
I unaccomplished sit.
I respect the, revere
O stealer of my youth
In this age of change
Only constant forsooth.

Work and all wll be well

2005-08-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

Care not for rewards
Only the task ahead
Though full of thorns
Be the road you tread.
For time lost in worry
Is better spent in work
And each time you stop
Your duty you shirk
Though the burden be weary
And the path so long
Each hardship serves
Only to make you strong
Stick on and the way
From problems shall be rid
Later you will be glad
You came the way you did.

2005-08-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

The morning is spoilt
If you welcome it with tears
But worse if it passes
With your uncalmed fears
Better spoil the morning
Than ruin the day
Cry out not bottle it up
Time passes away.
Better take it out early
And later skillfully hide
Weaknesses, frustrations, crosses
Under a mask of pride
Better weep it once, right then
Weeping loud and long
Better than concealing teas
Appearing to be strong.
Let morning be misty
And with tear drops wet
Then do not remember
But certainly do not forget.

Ode to the Spring

2005-08-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

The cruel winter is over
Spring like a maiden shy
Blushing, flushing, soft silent
Is now walking by.
The earth again is young
Like a pretty petty girl
Whit and soft now
Clouds in the sky swirl.
No more hail or snow or sleet
Instead light spring showers
To make the atmosphere fresh
And brig out so many flowers
The wind hitherto bitter
Now merely caresses
Gently kindly softly
Spring's flowing tresses.
Spring with hr long robes
That swish as she walks
Lightly daintily picking
Her way through green stalks
She pauses a few moments
And then bestows a smile
On dry brown trees
Growing greener all the while
The plants suddenly feel
The surge of fresh life
Taller an strong hey grow
Willing to withstand summer strife
Though hr arrival be silent
And few can feel her near
The birds know and tell all
The sweet spring is here.
The rills and the brooks they know ti
And the lake and the plain
And the whisper to the wind
Spring is here again.

Crime and punishment

2005-08-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

Though folly should be forgiven
Some mistakes are so great
That no mater how you repent
It is far far too late.
Too late to drown in remorse
To open the floodgates of sorrow
To promise to change and
Be different on the morrow
You cannot expect forgiveness
Or demand it as a right
No matte how you beg for it
The burden shan't be light.
You will have to live through
The sneers of everyone’s hate
Nothing ever shall set it right
Anyway it is too late.
You should always consider
Before on a course you advance
Because unlike cricket
Life has no second chance.

Happy hunting grounds

2005-08-07T22:53:00.000-07:00

Somewhere far away
Where he dawn meets the dusk
Where there is always half light
The spirits of the past do lurk.
Where there is a magical silence
Its rustlings you can hear
Where there’s only happiness
And not a twinge of fear.
Where the water flows softly
Afraid of making a sound
And a feeling of serenity
Of peace does abound.
The tree-shade is dark and cool
With dew the grass is wet
In those soft white mists
You can so easily forget.
The wind rustling overhead
Has such gentle soft caresses
You can feel its soothing
whispers in you tresses.
In these vales of mystery
Time ceases to exist
And lying on the soft grass
You can have your eternal rest.

Failures

2005-08-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

I do not want any nostalgia
Of times well spent
I only want to remember
The trials I underwent.
Now I realize that all the tears
The heartbreak and all the sorrow
Is there to lighten my future loads
To make m a better person tomorrow
All those troubles, those hardships
Those moments of battle and strife
Are little chips, little pebbles
That level the road of life.
I have bounced off each fail
Though it were a feather bed
TO reach new heights, horizons
Avenues I had never tread.
I understand that each shock
Each baptismal by fire
Has only proved to me my worth
That I don’t easily tire.
I know that this learning
This gain I will surely need
Later there shall be more problems
To solve them I will succeed.

To a friend- after it got over

2005-08-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

I still care for you
Though not as strong as before
Perhaps because our relationship
Cannot b the same any more.
But 'tis not fault of yours
It is entirely mine
Chiefly because my feelings
Change with time
I am not constant
Or still as the Pole star
But neither a honey bee
Flitting from flower to flower.
We once were very close
That feeling was so strong
But I cannot always adjust
Or make concessions too long.
You began to control my thoughts
Make all my decisions for me
Oh, my dear why don’t you realize
Above all I want to be free.
I was beginning to stifle
my spirit was tightly bound
How could I be myself, even think?
With all that pressure around?
But I cannot blame you
I just cannot be tied
You approach was wrong
when to get me you tried.
I am not an object
That can be lost or won
I am a living being
A live human person.
The way I still love you
Is unlike the way I cared
For others, in no other way
Have I so much with another shared.

Dare to be with the crowd

2005-08-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

If you should be different
it should be because you are
Different as earth from water
A candle from a shooting star.
To stay away from the crowd
Wrapped in that aura of your difference
Because you want others to se
That makes actually no sense.
To be happy when they are not
And cry when others are glad
To walk away willingly from them
That will make you even more sad.
Because you are pining
To do what they do
And you cannot else
How will you prove you are you!
So be with them, like them
In the crowd dint be alone
But don’t let them suppress you
O make you a mere clone.
There is just one golden rule
A law that you live through
It is when in Rome
Do as the Romans do.

To be a Rock

2005-08-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

It would be nice to be a rock
TO sit unmoving and Tall
To have no emoions
Nor feelings of the heart at all.
To be inaccessible to all
WHo try to wound me
To be lasting eternally
As constant as can be.
TO be firm and mighty
To be so straiggh and proud
To be part of , yet away
From the milling human crowd.
Never to feel happy
And never feel any pain
TO withstand all tortures
The sun with the rain.
To be hard and unyielding
Not melted with a smile
Never to be conquered
Nor assailed even for a while.
At last to crumble slowly
Destroyed as I must
And never to be remembered
When I am reduced to dust.

Emancipation

2005-07-31T05:58:00.000-07:00

You retain but the body
The spirit- it is free
Neither bolt nor shackle
Nor chain can hold me.

Put in more locks
Increase guards hundredfold
Try hard as you may
Me you cannot hold

My mind is truly free
It reaches so far
New heights, mountains towers
The highest, the utmost star.

From thinking as I wish
Me, you cannot prevent
I may bend at the most
Though breaking me you intend.

I am not one of the usual
Docile, afraid, tame things
I have tasted freedom
And it gave me my wings.

So even with them clipped
I’ll fly- far far will I roam
For freedom, for liberty
The world I will comb.

I am far above you
High oh so so high
Watch me spread my wings
Watch how far can I fly!

Torture threatening cajoling
My ideas you cannot quell
Whoever conquered the ocean
Or held back the swell?

I will never let this blackness
This dark be my fate
No matter how you hold me
I will myself extricate.
Then I shall fly hard and fast
Far far far away
I know the time will come
Tomorrow is another day

Dark

2005-07-31T05:39:00.000-07:00

Drip Drip Drip through the leaves
Drop by Drop the water sieves
As it falls from the eaves.

Falling like a veil to the ground
Darkness envelops everything around
Ominous silent, without a sound.

Quietly overpowering the ear
The rustling silence I hear
And it gives rise to a feeling of fear.

I’m afraid of the trees silhouette
Outlined ‘gainst the night’s black soot
Suddenly an owl does hoot.

So piercingly sharp and shrill
A premonition of foreboding ill
With further terror it does fill.

“Nothing” I must console me
No one around whom I can see
My terror is silly, Can it be?

But is it really that absurd
I feel like a caged bird
I fear all that I have heard.

Yet glowing on the mantle bright
A candle shedding its light
Its cheery message- al is right.

Destroying the enveloping blackness
The candles’ cheery brightness
And I no longer feel helpless.

I have got myself

2005-07-27T18:12:00.000-07:00

They flit about me like bees
Around a lower
Smiling, grinning flattering
Stifling by the hour.
Yet it is plain as can be
The truth is always bland
What I live through and what I feel
They can never understand.
But I do not mind
I don’ blame them at all
What business is I of mine
With my pain to sadden them all?
I live up to my image
So well do I play my part
That I can laugh and joke
While pain tears my heart.
Yet I am always there to listen
To their ideas, calm their fears
And when they cry I stand by
And softly dry their tears
No, I cannot depend on them
But then why should I?
I am a rock, hard and firm
So why should I ever cry?
I don’t need anyone
Close with me to be
Well I am different from others
They are them as I am me.
I am not there to cry
But to lighten a tear
Not there to create problems
But to make glad good cheer.
Even if I am upset
Why ought I address it aloud
Why ought others be unhappy for me?
I am far too proud.
So I don’t blame anyone
For this seemingly callous attitude
For I have willingly locked myself
And am happiest in my solitude.
Sp let the world grow cold
And let no one my problems see
I care not a whit, no a bit
For I have got myself, I have got me.

Laugh your tears away

2005-07-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

A life without humor
Is riddled in gloom
Though it be long in years
It is over so soon
If you want to life
Long- years so many
Laugh, laugh, laugh
Your cares- there won’t be any.
If you cry and sob or wail
Or sulk, glower or mope
Yours is a life of sadness
Bereft of any hope.
There is no need to cry
Because you are so sad
Remember you are still alive
So it cannot be so bad.
When something hurts you
Your pain you must hide
Remember whatever chances
You have to keep your pride.
Laughter and sorrow are
Two equal aspects of life
But the former not the latter
Is stronger in the strife.
Laughter is the broom
To clear the cobwebs of pain
Keep cleaning over and over
Or they will be back again.
Happiness is to be searched for
With patience you will find
It is a treasure
For it is a state of mind.
Whenever you are unhappy
From shedding tears desist
Life is to be lived, live it
Do not merely exist.

A Warning

2005-07-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

A cloud a fuzzy haze
Surrounds the real I
What I am supposed o be
Is all a nasty lie
Myself and the real me
So successfully do I hide
That you will never know
What in truth is inside.
My appearance is deceptive
And I let it be so
What I am and what I think
Why need you know?
Let always this untruth remain
Let always this be
I know you certainly won' like
The person who is really me.
Maybe I am selfish
A mean and cunning cat
I sure am certain
You won't like that.
SO here I've been deceiving
Cheating you near and far
Remember if I am a hypocrite
That’s just what you are.
So while I lie to you
You reciprocate the same
My, aren't we good
At this deceiving game
When you next criticize me
Keep this in mind, sure do
There are a lot o things
That I know about you
Maybe in an unguarded moment
Something from my mouth slips
Lest it happen, he price I ask
Is that you guard your lips
It is not cat and mouse
The game between us two
We're equal- as you say for me
I perhaps might for you.

To a nosy Lady I know

2005-07-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Your nose is too long: someday
It will be cu short for you
Don' poke it about too much
Or you will be saying I did not warn you.
And why is it so long?
Why so extended may I ask?
By any chance do you know
Or are related Cyrano de Bergac?
Was it pulled to those proportions
Or to that size did normally grow
Maybe as you lied i grew longer
As with poor Pinocchio?
Well it has its purpose
It sure gives us a warning
That we keep away from you
And our secrets from your learning
Whenever there is a crack somewhere
DO not push your nose through
Instead keep off and maybe
Ourselves we will tell it to you.
If you push or poke or sneak
You'll know secrets you suppose
I am afraid that way my dear
You will only lose your nose.
So next when there is a secret
Don't poke your nose of pry
It will get cut short, you won't like it
SO do not even try.

The First Rain

2005-07-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

All Creation is torn asunder
By the crash of rolling thunder
Purple Streaks brighten the sky
As the lightning flashes by.
Drops of water soon begin to fall
Drops- round, large and small
Noiselessly without a sound
Throwing dust as they touch the ground
Fast and furious screaming by
Strong gales suddenly lash he sky.
As if by prearranged sign
he rain now falls thick and fine
Harder and faster it does fall
Deigning to drown one and all.
Soon however the store is spent
Lightning once more the sky does rent
The earth drinks the water with greed
Swallowing thirstily to fulfill her need
For days of heat Months of dust
Caused it to have such a thirst
The silence of the air around
Is broken by the singing sound
Of water as it sieves
Through the mesh of the leaves.
All our tears , oppression and pain
Are cleansed by the driving rain.
The wasting heat by fresh youth
The lies of yesterday by good clean truth.
Gone are our sadness and our sorrow
Instead we hope for a better tomorrow.

Who cares for me?

2005-07-23T04:01:00.000-07:00

They are so wrapped in their misery
That they do not see mine
Because I look cheerful
They think I am ine.
I am beating my head 'gainst these bars
As does a caged bird
My silence is cscreaming
Calling to be heard.
They think they have troubles
But they do not see me
They wallow in heir sorrow
And jjust let me be.
They want me to listen
Never to leavve them alone
And when i turn to them
To my feelings they are stone
I wish to speak out
To put orth my fears
But alas I know that
Their insensitivity will leave me in tears.
I have my problems, troubles
I want to tell them so
But when I approach they shutter me out
A nd I have nowhere to go.
I should not rely on anyone
But with my problems myself cope
Never depend on them
Only for a better future hope.
There is no one to see my troubles
Or my unhappiness to share
I am sure because
No one actually does care.

Tears- real friends

2005-07-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

Though grief your heart does tear
Smiling your pain you must bear
Your friends are tears and only tears
Drops which fall to allay your fears.
People urn away when you come
When you try to cry, you are stricken dumb
After all society has some rules
Which all of us follow like blind fools.
No you can't openly speak out
Conventions you cannot lout
So cry till your heart is sore
Cry till you can cry no more.
Because tears and only tears
Will lighten he load of your fears
But never to anyone open your heart
For they cannot take your part.
At your fears they will only laugh
All your tension hey will chaff
Making the freshets of grief pour like a wave
No one is your friend- yourself save.
And your tears, only your tears
Which will relieve your tensions and fears.
So when all the world's a stone
And when you are all alone
Cry, cry cry all your pain away
Cry till the break of day
Before others you must pu on an act
That you are happy must seem a fact
Cry alone let others never know
How your heart is full of woe.

To the dear unknown

2005-07-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

Come and hold my hand and be my friend
Walk with me to my journey's end
Neiher leading nor shadowing my way
Buit along wih me walking night and day

Do not leave my hand whatever may chance
But walk with me without a backward glance
Thfough the flowers and thorns lying my way
Through the tempests that turn night to day

Love me for what I am, not what I can be
Be my friend for myself, only for me
Don't try to change me, you cannot do so
But with me you shall always go.

Let the world turn its face and cast us out
Wih you we shall move forward, I have no doubt
Wih you near, come what may
I'll move ahead, ever onward on my way.

Through storms and tempests we will glide
Though dark clouds the sun do hide
Right through life to my journey's end
Come , let us be together, my friend.

Tomorrow is another day

2005-07-23T03:33:00.000-07:00

Forget the sadness of today
After all forver it will not stay
Though you may be drowned in sorrow
Be cheerful, it will soon be the morrow
Though grief your heart does rent
And all your joy seems to be spent
Firmly to yourself say
Tomorrow's anoher day.

An ode to the past year

2005-07-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

THe old order changeth
TO give way to the new
Those that remeber the past
Are alas very ew

They say the old year is going
Let him go
New Year's coming
Welcome him so

What lies ahead
is still a mystery
But soon this year
Will be history.

The hands come together
The clockl'll soon chime
And the old year will
Be lost in time.

The Prisoner

2005-07-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

As I si in my prison cell
All murky and dark
I am an eagle in irons
Born free as a lark.

I remeber the scent of the flowers
The fledglings cries
The stream that flowed
The whippoorwill's sighs.

How can I orget them
Hard as i may try
I was born free
Under a free blue sky.

My captors clipped my wings
So that I could not fly away
Why did I ever come in here
I still rue the day.

My jailor to the prison door
Comes jangling his key
And I think of the world outside
Where alas! I cannot be.

I know I must be patient
And quietly sit and wait
For the day when my captors
Finally decide my Fate.

Musings on a butterfly

2005-07-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

Does the butterfly remember
The caterpillar it used to be?
Does it think about
The creature no one liked to see?

As it emerges from the chrysallis
And shakes its wings to dry
Does it not try to remember
The caterpillar who could not fly?

Does it ever remember the hurt
It faced, the tears it shed
When people shunned it
When it wished it were dead?

No, it does not recall any of
That unhappiness, misery and sorrow
Thus shall the sadness of today be
Removed by the good cheer of tomorrow.